“Help! Why is my child behaving like this?”
How many times have we heard this? Maybe it’s a question you’ve asked – I know it’s been on my mind before. Some of the other thing’s I’ve heard parents ask are:
My child doesn’t stop whining….she won’t go to bed when told to….he pushes his brother around….She won’t share….He refuses to pick up his mess…. She cries when I say “no” to her….He’s disrespectful….
Even more, when parents start asking of themselves:
I hate yelling at my child….I feel helpless when my child behaves badly….I feel sad….I’m seems like I’m always battling with my child….I constantly worry about my child’s behavior….I don’t like asking the same thing over and over….sometimes I think there’s something wrong with him….is there something wrong with me as a parent….I feel like giving up….I feel like I’m losing control….
This can really be soul destroying stuff and I’ll bet my bottom dollar that most of us can recognize at least some of these situations and sentiments. Unfortunately there is no, one magical answer and if you speak to five different “experts,” most times you’ll get five different solutions.
Remember though, that no-one knows our own children like we do, and most answers to these issues lie in our ability to parent with love, respect and common-sense. It requires focused positive parenting and a concerted desire to bring about positive behavior change in our children.
There is no panacea to all our parenting issues. In fact there are many strategies to help with our parenting (some of which I will be discussing later), but my great interest is in Reward Charts for Kids. Reward charts can be a powerful and highly effective tool to help change child behavior. A reward chart can offer focus to both parent and child, and can be an extremely valuable positive reinforcement tool.
Used properly a reward chart can help relieve the constant head-butting that takes place between some parents and children. What I like to call the “do this/no I won’t” routine.
If you do the ground-work, set the rules and follow them, then the reward chart becomes the judge, not you. Simply, if your child doesn’t do what they’ve agreed, or behave in a way that they’ve agreed not to, then they don’t “earn” their rewards. Your judgment is taken out of the equation, and a reward chart gives you the opportunity to step away from the constant nagging.
Other benefits of using reward charts for kids can be:
- Helps break the negative cycle between parent and child.
- Happier and more peaceful relationships.
- Reward charts can allow a child to experience working toward a positive goal.
- Using reward charts for kids allow us to heap praise on our children in a constructive way.
- A reward chart can lead to less nagging and yelling.
- Gives kids a focus to improve their behavior.
- Reward charts for kids can teach the importance of delayed gratification.
There really are so many benefits to using reward charts for kids that go far beyond this small list (I’m sure if you already use reward charts with your children you’ll be able to list so many more). However, for me, one of the biggest rewards I get from using a reward chart for my kids is the opportunity it gives me to catch my children being good. This is really a big point with me and one you will find resonates throughout this site.